? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
