dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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