I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
