Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
