i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
