Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
