I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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