Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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