GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
