last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
