for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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