ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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