there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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