Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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