Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
