Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize