I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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