Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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