A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Someone shattered a urinal.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
there is glitter all over my balls
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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