Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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