in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
