Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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