I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
