you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
