oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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