the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
