need another drink. this is the easiest way
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize