went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
