How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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