"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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