God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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