So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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