Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I stole a fireplace last night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
