just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
