There is no way he is gay with that hair.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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