writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I enjoy the company of your penis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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