Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
