I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
