Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
