I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
