i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
