You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
