This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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