Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
