her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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