Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im holly from the hills drunk
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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