I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
