he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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