Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
