time to smoke my breakfast
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
