Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize