You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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