Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
