Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's shark week go big or go home
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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