so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
splinters make it hard to masturbate
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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