Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry larphraulen hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

Fav 6 814 1783
share tweet
(517): View more from Michigan

Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.

Fav 15 812 3352
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?

Fav 29 4361 989
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.

Fav 11 5322 1316
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

(1-352): View more from Florida

Oh God. You're going to jail

Fav 30 6472 1963
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

Fav 6 2317 1714
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

Fav 7 2011 706
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*

Fav 0 488 384
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...

Fav 0 14 43
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT