The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
